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There’s nothing more so than the a death of a loved one which makes you start wondering about the afterlife. It makes you start questioning everything and hoping with everything you have that there is something, and that something is peaceful and beautiful.

Since Elliott I find myself looking for signs…

After receiving news he would be born soon and what that meant, I was so scared and beyond devastated. I opened my phone and up the top of my newsfeed was a truly unexpected photo of my late grandfather. To see his smiling face I loved so much staring at me in such a time brought me the comforting thought, “he’s letting me know he’s here and he’ll keep Elliott safe after”.

On the morning of his funeral two beautiful flowers appeared in my parents garden by their pond. Flowers they’ve never seen before, flowers they never planted. The flowers lasted the day, closed up that night and by the next morning were gone.

Then there are magical photos like those above taken on a day our friends and family came to fly kites at the beach to celebrate Elliott’s life. The most amazing light appeared from behind the clouds. It felt warm and beautiful, like he was there- in the clouds, happy and safe, shining like the light he brought us. What struck us was later when we were looking through photos of the day, so many showed this light to be shining (what seemed to be) only on the kites we were flying for him.

I  hope these signs are real and meaningful, or more so, I need to believe they are.

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