We did not lose our baby,

We knew exactly where he was.

He was in my womb where I nurtured him, protected him, nourished him and loved him.

Then with pain and terror, strength and love,

I pushed him out into the world where he never made a cry.

We did not lose our baby,

We knew exactly where he was.

He was in my arms.

He was in the arms of his daddy.

He was in the arms of his brother and sister.

He was in the arms of his grandparents.

He was in the arms of some of his uncles and aunties.

We talked to him, we kissed him, we held him, we wrapped him and oh how we loved him.

We did not lose our baby,

We knew exactly where he was.

He was in a little white coffin. We placed him in there gently and tucked him in for the last time.

We took him home in a little blue box filled with his star dust and life has never been the same again.

Now he sits on a shelf with photos, candles, toys and special items.

We still talk to him, we still kiss him and we still hold him,

It’s not in the way it should have been and it’s not in the way I yearn to have but oh how we still love him.

No, we did not lose our baby.

We lost our trust in the universe,

We lost certain relationships,

We lost who we were,

We lost our innocence,

We lost dreams and a lifetime we were supposed to spend watching him grow,

But we did not lose our baby.

Our baby died but he is still very much a part of us.

Wanted, cherished, missed, yearned for, loved and held forever in our hearts.

That’s where I know he’ll live forever.

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