Fathers Day…

Dear fathers of angels,

Please know we are sending lots of love out to you especially tomorrow on Father’s Day. You might be hurting (a lot) and have your struggles. You might miss your baby so much it’s hard to breathe and wish with all your might that you could fix everything. There might be mixed emotions and conflicting thoughts about the day. It might be confusing if you’re finding it hard to celebrate even if you also have children in your arms. If you are, please know you are not alone.

I am so sorry you don’t have your child or children in your arms, but know they are forever in your heart. If you need to shut it all down and can’t go to “that place” that’s ok. If you want to shout your love for your baby or grief for their loss from the rooftop, go for it.

I am wishing you all a gentle day tomorrow and hope the light of pride for your child and warmth of love shines through and brings you comfort. I am thinking of you all.

Love stevie xo

To my darling husband and amazing daddy to our children,

I told you in high school I wanted 4 children. You didn’t flinch or run away scared, you simply said “ok, but I want 3”. At 16 years old we knew we wanted to marry each other and we knew how much we both desperately wanted babies in our future. We did get married and had 3 beautiful children, the number you imaged us with, but not in the way we ever thought it would be.

Watching you as the amazing father you are makes me love you even more. You really are the most incredible daddy I could ever ask for our children. It’s not possible for you to love our children more than you do. I know that you are also heartbroken and miss our youngest son so much. I know that you’ve been anxious and upset in the lead up to today. I know it’s not that you’re ungrateful, it’s not that you don’t appreciate having two children in our arms, it’s not that you don’t put everything you can into being an amazing father… it’s just that you want ALL your children here with you. This is not how it’s meant to be, you should have them all in your arms and because you don’t it’s painful. I am so very sorry.

Despite the pain the intent behind the day stays the same, a day where we give thanks to you for loving us all like you do. A day where we make sure we let you know how much we love and appreciate you. A day where we remind you that we know how wonderful you are as a daddy.

For 8 years we’ve been blessed that I’ve just been able to say to you “Happy Father’s Day”. I know this year you’re not feeling ‘happy’ on such a day, and I understand because that’s how I felt on Mother’s Day. So I don’t know how or if to wish such a thing at a time you hurt so much. So instead I wish you a gentle Father’s Day. A proud Father’s Day. A warm Father’s Day. A loving Father’s Day. Your three babies, two down with us and one above, love you so much.

Thank you for being a superhero to ALL of us.


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