Yesterday was #nationalsiblingday. It got me thinking of how much I wish I had a photo with them all together. How I wish they could all grow up together.

My two living children wish these types of things too. They tell me how they wish they held him one more time. How they wish he was here. How they were looking forward to looking after him and being a big sister/brother to their baby growing up.

The thing is, even though he died and he never came home the way he should have they are still a big brother & sister to him. They still look after him by way of protecting his memory. Their bond didn’t break when he died. Neither did their love or their status as a sibling to him.

They choose to keep him an ‘active part’ of our lives. They choose to acknowledge and talk about him. They choose to write his name and do drawings for him. They choose to write letters to him to put in our fire pit to send out to the stars. They choose to do these things because they want and need to continue a form of relationship with him. Because they want and need to hold onto the memories they made when he was here and make new ones for him now he’s not.

They have so much pride for their little brother and in their role as a sibling to him. Watching their love and commitment to him can be heartbreaking but it’s also special and so very beautiful.