This day last year was our last day we had with Elliott, the day he was turned to stardust. Today hurts beyond belief knowing it was the last day we held him, the real start to the new beginning on a different life we never wanted. This is our story of that day. The [...]
Category: infant loss awareness
He’ll always be a little magic
Tomorrow marks the day last year that we announced our pregnancy with Elliott. I waited until after our morphology scan because in our minds that ‘safe’ period of 12 weeks had moved forward to the mid term scan due to recent experiences of others we knew. I waited because i was terrified of becoming a [...]
Honouring all babies who chase butterflies in the sky, at my business
Here it is.. the window display at my business Little Lamb in loving memory and honour of ALL babies and children chasing butterflies in the sky. We remember now and always all little lives gone too soon and send our love, support and thoughts to all families touched by loss of any gestation or age [...]
Re-evaluating STRENGTH
People kept saying "oh you are so strong" but I felt anything but. I was broken, tired, angry and in pieces screaming out in pain. I felt like my world had fallen apart, was struggling to get out of bed and wasn't sure how it was possible to ever see any light again. Every time [...]
7 months on…
7 months... Every month on the same day (the 28th) no matter how good the day or week was, as the night draws in I'm brought back to the fact time is passing. Another milestone to hurdle over when I never trained for jumping such heights. I'm glad to say I'm having more genuinely good [...]
Learning that it’s ok to have a good time
I am (or was) a social person. In fact I've made my career out of talking. I love to dress up and meet with friends. And yet when my best friend bought tickets for us to go see a show I panicked thinking "how am I going to do this?" (especially knowing it was on [...]
6 MONTHS ON… the sad truths and the emerging positives
For the last 6 months I feel like I've lived in someone else's body, in someone else's life. It's mostly been a great big blur with a whole lot of fog on top. 6 months on I still think about him every day, most of the day. 6 months on the devastating loss still consumes [...]
A video of our love story with Elliott
This video is for you Elliott 💙 this is our love story with you , a love story that started before you were even made but so desperately wanted, a love story that has no ending 💙 I sat with much hesitation over sharing this video-it's raw, it's tragic, it's possibly confronting, but it's also [...]
The tug of war of emotions
I am often torn between wanting to feel and be better, and wanting to and being in a state of deep mourning. Sometimes I want to just lay in bed and feel the hurt. Sometimes it feels like staying in that dark place is a way of staying connected to him. I have had thoughts that [...]
When a simple thing like getting sick becomes a huge trigger
I had bad morning sickness with all three of my pregnancies, but Elliott's was by far the worse. It was hard and I really struggled. We made the decision despite the fact I wanted more babies that he would be the last as I couldn't think I could go through pregnancy again. I struggled with [...]
Elliott's Stardust 