"One of the incredibly hard things to deal with after a pre-term loss of a baby is the unexpected nature of it....My husband looked at his facebook account...A pregnancy announcement followed by a death announcement in a space of 10 days with nothing in between on his wall. That’s the shock of it- we were [...]
I know I spend so much time talking about our Angel baby, what happened and what is happening now. I know at some point (possibly now) many will get tired of hearing about it. Many will question why is it and should it still be so consuming. One of my great fears is that the [...]
... "I find I'm in this huge space between his birth and his due date that feels like limbo. A space between the ‘was’ and the ‘might have been’. It’s a space filled with watching the calendar tick over, day after day towards what should have been a joyous time filled with exciting anticipation, waiting [...]
Last night I sat in bed on my laptop and out of the blue I decided to count how many days it had been since Elliott was born. I counted...100 days... I was gripped with an unbearable sadness, 100 days already has gone by, 100 days in the rest of our lives. I did wonder [...]
Everyone knows about the milestones of living children- their smiles, first word, first steps, their first day at school, every birthday...but little is known about the milestones a bereaved parent goes through. The time milestones you go through, the milestones you never will, the healing milestones, everyday tasks which never used to be anything significant but [...]
To my little man, I have never felt pain i couldn't overcome, I have never been so scared that a brave face could not hide, I have never lost anything that could not be replaced. The joy of first meeting you was just as before, Until the pain of silence was too loud to ignore. [...]
I never knew the true meaning behind "the silence is deafening" until we came home from hospital empty handed and broken hearted. The loneliness of the night where it was still and quiet. Where I felt for the first time the silence pounding in my ears and all I could think of is "I should be hearing my baby [...]
A few weeks after Elliott's birth we decided we wanted to do something to celebrate his life and extend the invitation. People had reached out to us with love and support, some asked to come see us but we were too fragile to face too many people in the first couple of weeks. We thought a little event would [...]
To our darling boy Elliott, Daddy and I wanted you so much, with every fibre of our being, every cell of our body. We loved you from the moment we made you. Every kick we felt, every heartbeat we heard.. it filled us with so much love and joy. We will continue to love you always with everything we have and with [...]
There's nothing more so than the a death of a loved one which makes you start wondering about the afterlife. It makes you start questioning everything and hoping with everything you have that there is something, and that something is peaceful and beautiful. Since Elliott I find myself looking for signs... After receiving news he [...]
Elliott's Stardust 