I sat there on my hospital bed, my best friend tenderly holding our angel baby. She was smiling lovingly as she looked at him, then looked up and said "what are you going to say when someone asks you how many children do you have?" Oh god, I don't know... I've never had to think about [...]
Tag: diary
Full breasts and empty arms
After Elliott was born the nurses would gently ask if I needed any pain relief, even Panadol. But I didn’t and I hated that. I was in pain for many days after the births of my other two children but immediately after Elliott was born, the moment he came out, I felt no physical pain, there was nothing wrong with me. [...]
The guilt…
As a mum of a 7 year old daughter and 4 year old son, I know that parenting can sometimes be filled with guilt- Did I do this right? I know I certainly did that wrong... And now that we have an angel baby as well, I have found that you can't escape guilt when [...]
What about the other children? Part 2- Discovering the grief that leads after and how we dealt with it
In the days and weeks after Elliott's funeral Ashton was so angry and aggressive. On the night of the funeral he started swinging his arms at me, trying to hit me. I picked him up and cuddled him and he cried "Why did YOU turn him into star dust? I want my brother! I want [...]
What about the other children? Part 1/2 Meeting Elliott
I'm sharing our story about our children to highlight that children can grieve a tremendous amount too. This grief they've shown has been one of the biggest 'shocks' we've had in our journey so far. We had no idea how much they would truly love their brother. We didn't realise that even though they will never watch [...]
Elliott's Stardust 