Yesterday was #nationalsiblingday. It got me thinking of how much I wish I had a photo with them all together. How I wish they could all grow up together. My two living children wish these types of things too. They tell me how they wish they held him one more time. How they wish he [...]
I wrapped my hands around you, wanting nothing more than to protect you and keep you safe. I held you on my chest, your ear towards my heart, knowing full well you would never hear it beating from the outside. I breathed you in and kissed your head, your cheeks, your hands and your feet. [...]
2018 was an extreme roller coaster of a year. It was a year with magic and joy, so many laughs, so much love and the most beautiful memories made. It was also one with a some of our greatest struggles and difficulties we’ve ever had to face, a year of continued and new heartache and [...]
“Talking about stillbirth doesn’t make it happen”. What talking about stillbirth WILL do is reduce the isolation that parents and siblings so often painfully feel, compounding their grief. It WILL enable further research to be undertaken and preventative strategies and education to be effectively put in place and followed to reduce the staggering numbers. It [...]
It’s a devastating tragedy that your life was cut so short but YOU my darling, YOU were nothing but love and magic. How honoured we are to be your parents, How wonderful it was to care for and nurture you, How magical it was to feel you move and watch you grow, How grateful we [...]
In an attempt to settle the chaos in my head I’m in a state of household cleansing, organising and decluttering. I do this every year on some level but this year I’ve included the task of properly sorting everything I’ve ever kept from Emma and Ashton. Going through every one of those beautiful little baby [...]
10 years ago I married my high school sweetheart, the man of my dreams, my best friend, my soul mate. The day after we got married I said to Adam, I want to do that again. He laughed and said something along to lines of “oh dear god” and we agreed right there on day [...]
No one told me I’d look in the mirror and not recognise the person staring back. That overnight I‘d become a stranger in my own body, a body I could no longer trust. I felt completely hollow and although I was breathing, i wasn’t sure if I was living. I smiled and laughed for our [...]
The first word Ashton learnt to write was his own name. The second was his brother’s. I had no idea he could write it until a remembrance event where he showed me the bamboo candle boat he decorated with Elliott’s name on it. “That’s so beautiful darling, who helped you with his name?”, I asked. [...]
We did not lose our baby, We knew exactly where he was. He was in my womb where I nurtured him, protected him, nourished him and loved him. Then with pain and terror, strength and love, I pushed him out into the world where he never made a cry. We did not lose our baby, [...]
Elliott's Stardust 